Trouble And a Half A Dragonball Z/Ranma1/2 crossover fanfic written by Stella Quetzacotl First created: Oct 30, 2001 Last modified: Oct 30, 2001 ~~~~~Legal Stuff~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ This is a work of fiction written for entertainment purposes only. All characters in Dragonball Z were created by Akira Toriyama, and all characters in Ranma1/2 were created by Rumiko Takahashi. Masters of the manga art both. So no suing the Stella! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~Text Conventions~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [This is a character thought] *This is emphasized text* Chapter 1 Return to Non-Normalcy Saotome Ranma hauled the frantically struggling baby black pig around a corner into a secluded alleyway, ignoring the animal's squealing protestations. "Sorry, Ryouga," he muttered, "but we gotta talk, man to man." He stopped at a small pot full of steaming water, picked it up carefully with one hand, and dumped its contents over his captive's head. "Gyaah!" An unclothed middle-age man fell to the concrete with a thud, holding his head in his hands. "Hot!" "Wha - " Ranma jumped back. "You're not Ryouga!" The spiky-haired apparition arranged himself into a cross- legged position to preserve his modesty. "That's what I was tryin' to tell you." "Two people with the same curse..." Ranma said faintly. Then he shot the piglet-turned-man a sharp look. "Just who are you, anyway?" Not five seconds after his arrival on the Earth from the other world, Goku found himself tackled by a hysterical-with-happiness Chichi. "Goku, Goku!" she sobbed, squeezing him hard enough to break his ribs if he'd been a normal human. "I missed you so much!" Then, just as abruptly, she straightened. "Just where do you get off leaving me like that, mister!?" she demanded. "Have you any idea how hard it is to raise two sons on your own!?" Goku smiled sheepishly. "Hi, Chichi." Chichi melted. "Oh, Goku, I'm so happy you're here. Even if it is just for a week." She hugged him again. "Come say hello to your boys." Goku allowed himself to be led inside, where he was met with more enthusiastic greetings - first from Gohan, fourteen years old and already almost as tall as Goku himself, then from his father-in-law, the Ox King. After some prodding, three-year-old Goten overcame his bashfulness enough to introduce himself to his father, and the two were soon fast friends. Goku even let the boy play with his halo - although no matter how the boy tugged, it stayed firmly fixed in the air above Goku's head. It was late in the evening before Chichi had a chance to talk to Goku. It was a painfully familiar scenario - bedtime was the only time Goku stayed still long enough for them to have any sort of conversation. "Listen," she said to his back as he brushed his teeth, "I was thinking. Since you're only here for a week, let's go do something fun. It'll be like a vacation. All the others are coming - Bulma and Krillin and Tien and Piccolo -" She choked on that last. "You know, all your martial arts buddies." Goku looked over his shoulder at his wife, nestled in the mounds of pillows she insisted on keeping in the bed. "Sure, okay," he said amiably. "But we don't have to if you don't want to," Chichi added. "I mean, I know you want to spend some quality time with the boys, and I'm sure you're training constantly in the other world..." "A vacation sounds great, Chichi," Goku assured her, snapping off the bathroom light behind him. "Where'd you have in mind?" "Well, I did some research." Chichi pulled a brochure off of her nightstand and handed it to her husband as he climbed into bed. "I found a place in China that's supposed to be a really popular training ground. Not to mention it's got some great shopping malls. It's called Jusenkyo." "I don't see why my presence is required," grumbled Vegeta, former prince of the Saiyans and one of the strongest fighters the universe had ever known. "Give it a rest, Vegeta," his wife snapped. "I'm going. Trunks is going. Everyone's going. And like it or not, you're part of that group. So go pack." When Vegeta didn't answer, Bulma threw her hands up in exasperation. "What is with you? We're going to a training ground, for heaven's sake. You're supposed to love this sort of thing." "I'm not *supposed* to do anything," Vegeta countered. "I am -" "-Saiyan prince, yeah yeah, I know," Bulma interrupted. "Just look at it as an opportunity to see how you stack up to Goku after all this time." Vegeta glared at nothing in particular. "I already *know* how I stack up to him. I've been training nonstop ever since he died." He slumped into an armchair. As if on cue, his four-year-old son Trunks burst into the room and flew into Vegeta's lap. "Guess what, guess what!" he said breathlessly. "Goten says he's gonna go train in Jukensyo!" "Ju-sen-kyo," Bulma enunciated. "And you'll be doing the same thing - if you can convince your father to come along." Trunks looked up at his father. "Please?" he said, hitting the whining note that kids his age seem to have perfected. Vegeta struggled for a moment, then sighed in defeat. "Fine." "Jusenkyo? Really?" Master Roshi peered at his former student from behind his sunglasses. Krillin nodded. "Yup. Everyone's going, and Goku asked me to ask you if you, Oolong, and Turtle wanted to come along." "Hmmm." The Turtle Hermit crossed his arms to think. "You know, I've heard rumors about that place... unbelievable rumors..." Krillin leaned forward. "What rumors?" "That it's got the hottest babes in the world!" Master Roshi declared, making Krillin facefault into the sand. "I take it that means you're going?" he asked. "Of course!" Master Roshi gave Krillin a slap on the back. "'Smatter of fact, I'm gonna go pack right now." He skipped into the house, singing a 'tra la la' scale or something like it. Krillin watched him leave, crossing his arms ruefully. "What was he so excited about?" said an emotionless voice behind him. Krillin whirled, dropping into a fighting stance half out of reflex, then froze. "A-Android 18!" 18 flipped her hair back. "The only time that old geezer moves that fast is when there's a human girl around to chase. So what was it?" Krillin found himself stammering out the whole story to the android, concentrating as he was on the burning sensation in his ears. "A-and since Goku's only here for a week, w-we decided w-we'd all go t-to t-this p-place called J-Jusenkyo." He threw a hand behind his head. "Y-you know, a s-sorta weekend getaway th-thing." "Hmph." 18 quirked an eyebrow. "Could be fun, I guess. When were you planning on inviting me?" "I-Inviting..." Krillin trailed off. "I-I d-didn't th-think you'd be i-interested - " "Sure, whatever." 18 turned away, crossing her arms. "Well, I am interested. So hurry up and invite me already. I'll just crash your party if you don't." Krillin swallowed. [This is it. Be brave, Krillin,] he told himself. "W-well - I'd h-have to run it by G-Goku... but i-if it's okay w-with him... doyawannago?" The last phrase came out in a rush. 18 looked over her shoulder and smiled. "I'll check my schedule." A shout from Master Roshi's house interrupted the semi-romantic moment. "Whoooo!" Master Roshi shouted, waving at them from his porch. "Go, Krillin! You da man! Go get 'er!" 18 stared. "Is he for real?" "Ye gods," Krillin groaned. "Is everyone ready?" Goku asked. "Yeah!" said Gohan, Goten, Chichi, Krillin, Bulma, Trunks, Yamcha, Pu'ar, Oolong, Master Roshi, Tien, and Chiaotzu in unison. Piccolo nodded, Android 18 tossed her hair, and Vegeta closed his eyes. "Then let's go!" Goku fired up the Nimbus and took off, Goten laughing joyfully in his lap. Bulma followed, her airplane-minivan loaded to the brim with luggage and food and those members of the party who couldn't fly, and the rest flew in a V-formation alongside. The Z-Fighter vacation in Jusenkyo was under way. "So this is Jusenkyo," Gohan said doubtfully. A valley of small springs stretching off into the distance twinkled at him serenely, from behind several gates and vending stands and throngs of people clamoring to get in or out. Gohan could see shadowy bamboo poles standing like anorexic soldiers around each spring, and a few people hopping from pole to pole like acrobats. One lost his balance, fell, and was lost from Gohan's view. "Yep," Bulma nodded, squinting at her Useful Chinese Phrases handbook. "Or according to my map it is, anyway. Lessee..." She snagged the nearest passerby and spat out one of the lines in the handbook. "Do you know the nearest place of indecent exposure?" she said haltingly in Chinese. The passerby, a middle-aged peasant woman, blinked at her and hurried away. "How rude," Bulma complained. Chichi and Gohan glanced at each other. "Um... What were you trying to say?" Gohan hazarded. "I was asking where the information desk was. Honestly. Why can't these people help a tourist out?" Bulma scowled. Gohan reddened. Chichi politely stopped another peasant woman and said in only slightly accented Chinese, "Excuse me, but could you tell me where the information desk is?" The woman pointed. Chichi thanked her politely and turned back to Bulma. "I didn't know you knew Chinese," the older woman said faintly. "My father taught some to me as a little girl," Chichi answered flippantly. "The rest I learned when Gohan started his Chinese lessons, so I could help him with his studies." "Wow." Something occurred to Bulma. "I didn't just say to that woman what I thought I was saying, did I?" "No," Gohan said, "you weren't." "Should I ask what I was saying?" "No, you shouldn't." Gohan waved at his father, who was inspecting a teriyaki booth curiously. "Dad, c'mon! Let's go!" Goku waved back at him, indicating 'go on, I'll catch up.' "Oh no you don't." Chichi stalked up to her husband, grasped him firmly by the ear, and proceeded to drag the Saiyan away in the direction of the information booth the Chinese woman had indicated. "I am not letting you cause a scene in the middle of the marketplace." "Ow! Chichi, come on!" Goku protested, stumbling after his captor. "Ow! Let go! Please?" Vegeta began to chortle at the spectacle of Goku being so easily cowed by his wife as the Z-Fighter group moved to follow Chichi's purposeful stride. "It don't do to laugh at that woman," Master Roshi informed the Saiyan prince, eyeing him from behind his sunglasses. "Even Goku's afraid of her - and rightly so. The wrath of Chichi is nothing to take amusement at." Only the immediate presence of Bulma and Trunks saved Master Roshi from experiencing Vegeta's own particular brand of wrath. "Jusenkyo is good place for to train," said the portly guide loudly, in broken Japanese. "Many, many people come here to perfect skills. But all you must be careful." He pointed behind him, at the nearest pool of innocuous-looking water. "Is Spring of Drowned White Rabbit," he said, voice taking on a lower pitch. "Many, many year ago white rabbit drown in this pool. Water of pool become cursed. Now, who fall in this spring become white rabbit." "Right," Yamcha muttered. "Same rabbit as the one in the moon, no doubt." The guide gave him a sharp look. "You no believe me? Many people not believe me. They end up cursed, with bodies of frog, monkey, girl, panda." He nodded sagely. "Every pool has own curse. Many, many curses." He waved his hand to take in the expanse of glistening pools. Goku laughed, floated up into the air like a windblown leaf. "Thanks for the advice, friend," he said in passable Chinese, "but none of us will fall in." Bulma blinked up at the swaying Saiyan. "You know Chinese too?" Goku nodded. "For a while Chichi and Gohan wouldn't speak anything but Chinese around the house. I couldn't help but pick up a few words." The blue-haired woman sighed. [Wish I'd paid more attention to my foreign language classes in high school,] she thought with chagrin. Goku floated over the cursed pools and landed lightly on a stick of bamboo. "They sure look normal to me," he commented. "Wierd." Gohan joined his father on the bamboo poles. "Do people really train like this?" he asked, balancing. "Tien and I used to train with this kind of course all the time when we were younger," Chiaotzu told Gohan, landing on another pole. "It's a lot of fun." "It was a little hard on Chiaotzu, though." Tien took a place beside his longtime companion. "Fighting on poles like this is easier if you have longer legs." Yamcha sprang onto a pole of his own with more visual fanfare than was really neccessary. "I've heard about this type of training," he said, adopting a crane stance. "It's supposed to take a lot of concentration." Pu'ar floated up to take her accustomed place at his shoulder. "It does," Tien supplied. One by one, all the Z-Fighters took places on bamboo perches, scattered about the area. Only Oolong, Chichi, Bulma, and Master Roshi were left on the bank. "Welp, looks like it's about time for me to get up there myself," Master Roshi announced, striding forward. Bulma, Chichi, and Oolong exchanged skeptical glances. "Alley-oop!" Master Roshi launched himself at the closest bamboo pole, one implanted along the shoreline - and smacked into it face-first, three inches from the top. As he crumpled to the ground, Bulma and Chichi sighed and and went to him. "You have been slacking off, old-timer," Oolong observed as he followed. Master Roshi sat up, rubbing his back. "Have not. I do my exercises every day, at three o'clock pm. Never miss it." "Isn't that when that women's aerobics program comes on?" Bulma wondered. The Turtle Hermit shushed her frantically. While Bulma, Chichi, and Oolong endeavored to boost Master Roshi onto his pole, Vegeta bamboo-hopped over to Goku. "I trust you've been training in the other world," he said, the beginnings of a smile beginning to show on his face. "Of course," Goku said distractedly. "Not much else to do up there. And you meet some pretty interesting people while training." "I thought as much." Vegeta sprang a few feet back. "All right, Kakarrot. Let's go." He crouched into a fighting stance. The other Z-Fighters gulped and moved back, forming a respectful circle around the two Saiyans. "Huh? Go?" Goku blinked. "Now?" "No time like the present," Vegeta said simply. "I've waited a long time for this, and I'm not going to wait any longer. Defend yourself!" Goku had just enough time to adopt a stance of his own before the former prince lunged at him, hair flashing gold. Vegeta's first charge hit Goku like a truck, propelling both of them past the ragged ring the others had formed around them. The force of their passing nearly upended Gohan, who had to straddle two poles to avoid falling. He lifted himself into the air gingerly, eyeing the accused pools of cursed water, and floated to the edge of the valley. He sensed an intense fight coming on. Goku knocked Vegeta away just long enough to complete his own transformation to Super Saiyan. The prince's next attack was met with equal force, and Goku and Vegeta went spinning about the valley like ballerinas on Tabasco sauce. "Careful, careful!" the Jusenkyo guide frantically. His words went unheeded. Goku and Vegeta were matching each other blow for blow, kick for kick, block for block, and wearing identical grins. It was a look only a Saiyan could master - bright, narrowed eyes, confident smirk, brow furrowed with concentration. A fighter's mask. The two were vaguely aware of the Z-Fighters shouting at them, and underneath the sound of water, but whether the shouts were of encouragement or censure they neither knew nor cared. The battle raged up the valley and down, upsetting many birds and fish and one young couple sitting on the grass a ways off, before pausing in the same place where it'd begun. Goku and Vegeta clasped hands somehow or other and braced themselves against bamboo scaffolding. The martial arts display had become a test of pure strength, a strength that overflowed like lava when the fighters released their battle auras. "Goku!" Krillin shouted vainly as the harsh yellow light began to expand in a globe of power. "Hold on, guys, this is gonna hurt - " Gohan threw himself backwards to land in front of the Jusenkyo guide and used his own power to form a shield around himself and the panicky older man. Then the power globe engulfed the valley and Gohan, pouring all his concentration into maintaining the shield against the might of two Super Saiyans, lost track of the power signals of his friends. When the battle explosion faded, Goku and Vegeta were standing on opposite banks of the valley, each straddling two bamboo poles - the only intact poles in sight. None of the rest had more than half their length still standing. As the warring Super Saiyans gulped air and blinked the spots from their eyes, they slowly became aware that they were the only ones left standing above the waters. Goku looked around, fighting down panic. "Chichi? Goten? Krillin?" Vegeta cast about more surreptiously for Bulma and Trunks, and could see neither. For a moment their eyes met, and a message flashed between them - 'We are in deep trouble.' Then the bamboo poles underneath the two men broke, and before Goku and Vegeta could gather the presence of mind to fly, they plunged into the Jusenkyo waters and into their own private abyss. Next chapter... After sorting out who got what body, the Z-Fighters head back home to consult with Uri Baba. But who's the strange bandana-headed youth, and why don't his directions make any sense?...